Joan Rivers' Exhaustive Catalogue Of Gay San Francisco Jokes

Joan Rivers is descending upon San Francisco in the coming weeks to workshop a production of her new autobiographical show at The Magic Theatre and perform stand-up at the Plush Room. Judging by a recent entry on her blog at joanrivers.com, the star seems to be rather happy about her visit, though the work side of things seems to be less of a cause for excitement than the prospect of sight-seeing and giving autographs to her gay fan-base. "Gay men are my most loyal fans and playing San Francisco is like playing their union hall," she says.

In honor of this city, Rivers lists some of her favorite San Francisco jokes. They are so bad that I couldn't resist running them here:

San Francisco is the only city where the blind gay men have Seeing Eye Poodles.

San Francisco is great because gay criminals there beg to be handcuffed.

In San Francisco you can take a ferry to Alcatraz, but then he’ll expect you to buy him lunch.

You can send friends back home post cards that say, “Wish you were queer.”

There is very little violent crime in San Francisco. The worst thing that happened to me when I was there was that I was gang coiffed.

In San Francisco even the Golden Gate Bridge swings both ways.

And, finally, San Francisco’s city motto pretty much sums it up, “Eat, Drink and be Mary!”